And what about art?

I mentioned earlier that motherhood has rendered me humorless. I should also note that my artistic side has hit the trail as well.

The funny thing is that it seems less about lack of time and more tied into the humorlessness. The world seems very, well, real to me now, and I don't feel as inclined to spend time imagining and creating. I feel like I should consider this a great loss, but I am not thinking much about it.

This is not to say that I think of art as a waste of anyone's time, my own included, nor that I feel like creativity is permanently gone from my life. I'm guessing that I'm simply so deeply entrenched in a very simple, visceral day-to-day that there's not much room for anything else.

S still pushes to do a lot of creative stuff, and he spends time and money on music/books/movies. My resources feel so limited, time-wise and financially, that art isn't being funded right now. I wonder if this is a gender thing, or a difference in our personalities. I spend "extra" time/money on things connected to Lincoln--researching stuff, buying him books/clothes (though I haven't gone nuts spending money on him), interacting with him. S doens't research baby stuff, and doesn't buy him things. Is it b/c I'm doing it? If something happened to me, how would his pie be divided differently? Or would it?

Interesting to ponder.

But back to art. I felt really angry once when we were visiting the city of Venice, CA, where there are many whimsically designed, expensive-but-modest-sized homes. Somehow the idea of "fun" architecture seems so frivolous to me, and I got mad that some people have enough money to "play" with the design of their homes while others are homeless.

Then again, I have time and resources to reflect upon parenting and TTC and gender issues and other people work in sweatshops. The comparison thing becomes a spinning dark place in my head b/c there's always someone/some animal who has things much worse than some other person or animal. The Buddhist thinking would be that this is just how it is, right? I get lost in it though.

Because I have many more worldly comforts than most people on this planet, and certainly more than nearly all other animals, I feel profoundly grateful. I feel judgmental when I see "frivolous" spending, when people shop out of boredom, and are wasteful. But surely others would think me frivolous, buying clothes for myself and for Lincoln when we already have things to wear that aren't falling apart, throwing away food that is edible but not to my liking, etc.

Do you think about these things? Do you get lost in them? And what about art?

Comments

[Kristen]

Yep--I think about these things and credit you with being more balanced and less judgmental than I am. I live in NYC (Brooklyn), and I feel indignant and/or angry about inequities pretty much all of the time. Real estate, childcare, and education here are a hyperbolic microcosm (is that possible?) of all manner of injustices, demonstrated perhaps most dramatically by the homogenization of downtown Manhattan. My son is 4 1/2 months old, and I think I've become humorless, too. Alas. Any ideas about how to combat it?

[las.writer]

I get lost in the same battles. Such extremes we have, and little sense connects them. Explanations are plentiful, but logical, lasting explanations are elusive. (I feel like I'm currently having a crisis of faith.) But maybe that's precisely where art comes in. When reality gets brutal and your best efforts seem futile, art offers first escape, and then, hopefully, inspiration. And release. If only temporarily. Art serves a vital purpose...especially when you're getting too caught up in the day-to-day. It brings answers in its own way.

[reinstate@freewill.com]

reinstate@freewill.com

There are all kinds of reverse positioning clues in regards to favor in this morbidly disfavored age:::Late bloomers have god's favor and are therefore given more time to fix their probelms and get out before puberty. People with infertility problems would be wise to look at themselves in this same light. I'd remind you Italians both bloom early AND had a reputation for breeding like rabbits (blacks bred like rabbits too, but it was to CHEAT the welfare system, yet another thing the gods are punishing them for).
Similarly, women without marriage prospects are receiving extra time as well. If they were to get married later in life the gods would just tell some man, who likely thought he was earning, that he could get divorced in a couple of years anyways.
You don't want this. You would be wise to put that time to good use, fix your problems and get off Planet Earth.

As people begin to age the gods employ corrupting tactics. They ultimately begin to look down on the children and the wisdom they recently understood:::
They voluntarily turn their back on their opportunity to ascend and instead embrace evil.
It's not old people who go to heaven. Old people must come back because of the mistakes they've made throughout their lives. Children are the ones who have the opportunity to ascend.

Children are discounted by adults in society. The gods corrupt people as they age, use trust-building tactics and soon adults view the children as ignorant, yet to understand the god's system, and subsequently look down on the children. This is one of the most bitter, painful ironies the gods employ, for people consciously turn their back on and lose their opportunity to ascend::::
Religions teach that old people to go to heaven when they die. They don't. Old people are reincarnated. It's the children who go to heaven.
The wisdom the gods impart to children, either through their innocence/purity or religious-based educational pursuits are the gods sharing the truth with their most favored people::::It's the children whom the gods teach the right way for it is the children who have a chance. For example, they teach children to have faith, for understanding the god's geographical clues hurts people by illustrating negative things, opening the door for the god's to employ deceptive tactics.
Old people don't go to heaven. Old people must come back because of the mistakes they've made throughout their lives. It's the children who have the opportunity to go to "heaven". They must behave apprioriately, think correctly and be genuinely god-fearing. Their innocence and lack of desensitization ensures they have a real opportunity to achieve this goal.

This is charecteristic of the gods methodology::::The big prize gone early, deception compels people to chase something that has already been decided. They sent this clue with boss as well. It is also a clue supporting my claim RW&B's german is in fact Christianity's Anti-Christ. Logic also dictates, considering the definition.
The confusion over this multi-dimentional positioning will serve as an effective tactic, eliminating many additional disfavored in the process, for positioning states the Apocalypse to be a continuation of WorldWarII's Aryan superrace ideals, positioned as punishment for the 5th century invastion of the Roman Empire:::John's Fourth Reich.
This amounts only to "nested theater":::::Levels of positioning enables the gods to scapegoat:::::RW&B merely is the tool the gods chose to execute the final scene of their scripted theater that is human history.