A rocky place

Linc, Daddy, and Uncle David

We took Linc on his first flight this past weekend--to the N. California coast, visiting my mom for her birthday (her gift to herself, flying us up!)

The pup did great on the flight, and while it was a lot of travel (2 hr flight. 2 hr shuttle, 2.5 hr drive), it was really wonderful.

Here's Linc with his daddy and his uncle (my brother). They have similar looks, no? Coloring? Not sure. My bro is really tall, 6'3". S is 6'1"ish...I wonder if Linc will be tall like them, or, um, not tall, like me. Huh.

Thirteen

Thirteen, by Big Star (also covered by Elliott Smith), is such a sweet song. Both versions are on a mix that was made by a member of my CD trading group--what amazing tunes I've received from these women!

This song, along with an online discussion about "things you wish you could tell your 14 year old self", has led me to much reminiscing. Sadly, I have very few happy memories of being a teen/preteen/child. It's such a bummer, b/c there are so many wonderful things about being young--mainly, well, being young. Not having the pressures of adulthood, or an achy back/creaky knees/whatever. I'm not sure if it's my personality, or the particulars of my youth (which really weren't bad at all), or a general sadness that permeates childhood for some people. But it seems both unfortunate and in a way unnecessary.

And it makes me wonder what I would like to tell my 13 year old self. I think I would like to tell her that despite what she sees around her, in her friends/family/society, being pretty really isn't the most important thing. People liking her isn't the most important thing. The boys she wants to like her, and the girls she wants to be friends with--they really won't matter to her at some point, I'd promise her.I would ask her what truly matters to her, and why, and encourage her to pursue things that she's passionate about. I would tell her that it's inevitable that some people won't like her, and she should just accept that up front, and not let it distract her so much. I'd talk to her about the difference between style and substance, between the cake and the icing, between short term and long term gratification. I'd try to teach her patience, to let her know that the things that seem to matter so much now really truly won't matter so much in the not too distant future--and that things that seem irrelevant now will affect the course of her life. I'd explain that there's no way of knowing how things will turn out, but that life is both much shorter and much longer than you'd imagine it would be, and that being young lasts forever and also disappears before you have any sense of what it means to be young. I'd tell her to be a little bit braver and lot more vulnerable, to take more risks. I'd encourage her to take up space in the world, to let herself push and speak and be angry, to want what she wants.

What do you wish you could tell your 13 year old self?

Lincoln stands up!

Without any help! And is quite delighted with himself!

Wow

This has nothing to do with infertility, but damn it scares me.

I can relate to the sometimes compulsive desire to Find The Right___, whatever it is--I can get fixated. But nothing like that. I wonder what it is about this kind of behavior that makes it much more common in women--some mutated version of the nesting/gathering impulse? Filling an emptiness, kind of like compulsive eating. I read a book called Appetites by the talented writer Caroline Knapp (who died way too young), that from what I remember addresses shopping/eating/etc.

Time for change

My friend S (who is the mama of the wondrous IH) suggested that it's time to change the name of my blog. While my ute may still be a rocky place--we've yet to test those waters--one seed did in fact find purchase, and things are quite different around here now. I started this blog nearly two years ago, and I'm wondering if S isn't right about the name change.

Here are her ideas, all from the movie Raising Arizona, of course. (Let's not discuss the fact that I am now completely humorless and even the Coen brothers can't joke about stealing a baby without giving me that pit-of-the-stomach feeling. Mamahood did that to me. Ain't nothin' funny to me these days!!)

Anyway, the possibilities are:

Unpainted Arizona
He's awful damned good. I think I got the best one.
He's gotta get his Dip/Tet
What are you kidding, we got us a family here!

I don't have a little poll thing here, but if my three readers want to weigh in, I'll take a vote in the comments section. The URL would stay the same--I don't think Typepad will let me re-title this--but I can make a new title on top, perhaps. Or at least a subtitle. I'm partial to options 2 and 4, but I'm open...

Thanks, S!!!!